Funny Quotes |
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"Wagner's music is better than it sounds".
"There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem".
"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to".
"Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung".
"Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end".
"Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour".
"Music is well said to be the speech of angels; in fact, nothing among the utterances allowed to man is felt to be so divine. It brings us near to the infinite".
"Classical music is the kind that we keep hoping will turn into a tune".
"We consider that any man who can fiddle all through one of those Virginia Reels without losing his grip, may be depended upon in any kind of musical emergency".
"The Mandolin is the bottom four strings of the guitar, backwards...so a person with dyslexia has no problem learning to play the Mandolin".
"Do I listen to pop music because I'm miserable or am I miserable because listen to pop music?
"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'".
"Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it".
"Give me a laundry list and I'll set it to music".
"A good composer does not imitate; he steals".
"I think one of the reasons I'm popular again is because I'm wearing a tie. You have to be different".
"I want to do a musical movie. Like Evita, but with good music".
"I don't mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is the language I don't understand".
"No opera plot can be sensible, for in sensible situations people do not sing".
"Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding, sings".
"You know you're getting old when everything hurts. And what doesn't hurt doesn't work".
"I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide".
"It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes".
"The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer".
"I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the manmade sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig".
"Beethoven always sounds to me like the upsetting of a bag of nails, with here and there an also dropped hammer".
"There are more bad musicians than there is bad music".
"Why is it that whenever I hear a piece of music I don't like, it's always by Villa-Lobos?".
"His music used to be original. Now it's aboriginal. [About Igor Stravinsky]".
"Parsifal is the kind of opera that starts at six o'clock and after it has been running for three hours, you check your watch and it says 6:20".
"One can't judge Wagner's opera 'Lohengrin' after a first hearing, and I certainly don't intend hearing it a second time".
"I once sent him a song and asked him to mark a cross wherever he thought it was faulty. Brahms returned it untouched, saying "I don't want to make a cemetery of your compositions".
"The piano is a monster that screams when you touch its teeth".
"I'd rather be a musician than a rock star".
"I like to think of us as Clearasil on the face of the nation. Jim Morrison would have said that if he was smart, but he's dead".
"If you wanted to torture me, you'd tie me down and force me to watch our first five videos".
"I'm not really a good singer. But most people aren't, either".
"If you can sell green toothpaste in this country, you can sell opera".
"There is no doubt that the first requirement for a composer is to be dead".
"Boys, look like you're having fun, but don't have any. (To his band just before going on the air)".
"She has a nice voice, but she looks a little bit too much like Eleanor Roosevelt".
"I don't deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn't deserve that, either. So I'll keep it".
"Critics don't buy records. They get 'em free".
"I certainly hear the Trombones Unlimited version of 'Daydream' in a lot of elevators".
"The musicians that didn't know music could play the best blues. I know that I don't want no musicians who know all about music playin' for me".
"I'm glad there are a lot of guitar players pursuing technique as diligently as they possibly can, because it leaves this whole other area open to people like me".
"You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly".
"I was a pretty good imitator of Roy Acuff, but then I found out they already had a Roy Acuff, so I started singin' like myself".
"I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single".
"People are going deaf because music is played louder and louder, but because they're going deaf, it has to be played louder still".
"All music is folk music. I ain't never heard a horse sing a song".
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Mark Twain All Rights Reserved. 2004.www.music-prank.com